Harry Pooter
by way 2 HP obsesed
Summary: THE WORLD HAS GONE WILD! Harry is a Nerd! Rons a gangster! And Hermione…well…hahaha
1. Part 1: Welcome to the Pooter Club

Authors Notes: Ok so this is the fanfic of a movie that my sis and my friend made like in 2006. Basically it's about Harry being a nerd, Ron a gangster, and Hermione…is shaped a bit differently. There's singing! There's dancing! There's HARDLY ANY MAGIC! This is written in a script format because I am just writing what it says in the movie, so it might be kind of confusing…anyway ENJOY! (And if this is too crazy for you check out my more _normal_ Harry Potter story "Too Good To Be Fake")

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Disclaimer: This is SOOO not mine! Well…technically Harry Pooter _is _mine because the characters are COMPLETELY different, cept with similar names, but they are based off of the WONDERFUL world of Harry Potter made by the Cooliomundo JK Rowling!!! OH! And just so you know I LOVE Harry Potter, this is not making fun of it, well…it kinda is…but not in a _bad_ way I love Harry Potter too much…this is just it in MY own crazy way!

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OH! and the rating is for using the word "boob" so if you're not comfortable with me using that word...well i have warned you now! The rating is also for a little vilance and a whole lot of drinking!

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WARNING! THIS WAS MADE UP AS WE WENT ALONG!

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Harry Pooter 

Part: 1

"Welcome to the Pooter Club!"

Key: 

Underlined names with the colons after them are the lines that the people are saying.

The words in **bold** are me (the narrator) talking to you to tell about how the scenes start and end.

The stuff in "( )" in the bold stuff is me (my personal self) telling you random explanations and things to the stuff in **bold.**

The stuff in "( )" and italics is me (the narrator) telling you what the actions are in between lines.

**Ok. Imagine a bedroom. The walls are painted baby blue with puffy white clouds **(THANK GOODNESS I repainted my room shortly after this!)** All you can see of the room is one wall. There is a door on the far left of that wall and big white closet doors taking up most of the rest of that wall. **(Hey, I'm just telling it like it is!)

**A girl dressed up like a boy is standing in the middle of the room, in front of the closet. She is wearing a red, yellow, and blue striped shirt and blue shorts pulled up REALLY high over the shirt. Her stomach looks fat because she has purple stuffing in the short. Sometimes the stuffing hangs out… She also has on a fake coonskin cap **(?) **Cheetah print sunglasses **(??) **A purple belt, a blue knee pad, and a white knee pad **(more on those later…)

**She is Harry Pooter.**

(_Harry Pooter does finger-push-up-nose-nerdy-snort-thing._)

Harry Pooter: I'm Harry Pooter, welcome to the Pooter Club!

(_knock knock knock on the door_)

Harry Pooter: Someone's at the door!

(_HP walks over to the door_)

Harry Pooter: Come in. Come in!

(_A girl with REALLY big boobs, like huge round pillows, hint hint, comes in. She has a blue hat on with blond braids that are clearly made of yard hanging out of the hat. She is wearing a black skirt, white t-shirt and a black robe_)

Herhiney Greater: Make way.

Harry Pooter: Hello? Hello! It's you Herhiney! What happened to you?

Herhiney Greater: I got some…reinforcements…

Harry Pooter: I see! Come on (_walks toward her with arms out stretched_) give me big hug! Give me a big one! WHOA! I can barley fit you!

(_They hug, though barley, Herhineys boobs get in the way._)

Won Won: Hey Herhiney I got—

(_Another girl dressed as a boy walks out from the corner of the room that you couldn't see. She has a green cloth tied around her head like a 'do-rag' and is wearing a REALLY long brown sweater and is low-ridding a pair of tight-ish jeans. This girl is carrying two 'empty' green bottles._ )

Harry Pooter: HEY Won-Won!!

Won Won: (_to Herhiney_) What happened to that? (_Jesters with bottle to Herhineys MASSIVE chest_) I see it's not only HerHINEY now.

(_Harry Pooter in background picking his nose_)

Won Won: (_Hands Herhiney a bottle_) Well take this.

Herhiney: Yeah I'll take that.

(_Herhiney walks over to a bench on the right side of the room, sits down, occasionally takes a few sips.)_

Won Won: Oh Harry, I stuffed yours somewhere…

Harry Pooter: Oh! Yeah right here! _(Pulls another green bottle out of his shorts pocket) _Here! Lets Cheer! TO THE POOTER CLUB! (_Raises drink_)

(_Won and Herhiney clink bottles together_)

Won Won: Should be called 'Gangsta Won-Won club.'

(_Harry clinks bottle with Won at that)_

Herhiney: Speakin' of gangsta, since when do you wear a 'do-rag' and since when do you wear an 'earring'?

(_In background Harry is picking his nose again and then flicks 'it' at Herhiney…yup this is the weird sort of stuff that I am only just noticing now when I am writing it all down…)_

Won Won: Well, the earring came from Lavender Boob—

(_Harry Pooter interrupts)_

Harry Pooter: Look! Look watch this (_licks finger and touches it to his side and makes sizzling sound) _I'm hawt!

_(Won and Herhiney roll their eyes) _

Won Won: Uh-huh sure Harry…

Harry Pooter: Yeah, you gangsta, you got your pants all way down low! _(Jesters to Won's low pants) _I like them up high! Tight high! _(Rubs fat stomach) _See all that fat…I try not to show it…but it just does…

(_Won Won hits Harry's fat with the back of his hand)_

Won Won: I thought that was a six-pack man! _(Hits fat with his bottle)_

Harry Pooter: OOO-OO _(grabs fat and stumbles backward) _that didn't hurt, just hit my fat.

Won Won: Give me a hug Hermione! _(Hugs her)_ You're like Lavender Boob now! Can hardly reach my hands _(bends head to other side) _Yup! That's the spot!

_(Won and Herhiney start to walk to the door, Harry is oblivious…off in his own world…)_

Harry Pooter: Three Cheers for the Pooter Club! _(Raises bottle to the sky) _

Poot Poot! Parayyy! _(Lifts bottle again)_

Poot Poot! Parayyy! _(One more time)_

Poot Poot! Parayyy! _(This time bottle comes down 'on accident' on one of Herhiney's big bosoms.)_

Harry Pooter: Oops! Sawy Sawy!

Herhiney: Help me take my robe off yo! _(Won Won pulls it off)_

Harry Pooter: So what happened to your hair? _(Pulls on one of Herhiney's blond yarn braids) _I thought you were…brown…

Herhiney: _(twisting braids) _I changed *giggle*

Harry Pooter: Why?

Herhiney: Blonds has more fun, of course!

Harry Pooter: Oh yeah! I love a blondy!

Won Won: _(he had been walking behind Herhiney throughout this conversation trying to balance his bottle on Herhiney's bottom, OH YEAH! I forgot to say that she also had a pillow on her but under the skirt, Herhiney is FAT if u didn't catch that…) _LOOK! LOOK! It's like a little beer holder!

_(Harry and Won Won both try to balance their beers on her bottom...hehe) _

Harry Pooter: (_to Won Won_) Hey I like your do…rag. And your sweater! Where did you get it? I want one! I want a Shweata! But I need to have a short one _(jesters to small amount of shirt showing because his shorts are so high up) _so it can go right here! Right, right up here!

Won Won: I'll tell my mom, she made this one for me! I don't get it! I told her I'm a gangsta! But she made me this sweater! I don't get it! _(Won won rubs his do- rag and Harry snorts again) _

Won Won: Ok I got to go for a sec _(walks out of screen to fix his do-rag) _

Harry Pooter: What? You're going? _(Walks over to Herhiney) _But, Hermione, well, Herhiney, I like your blond curls! _(Grabs them and rubs them on his cheeks)_ They make me look special _(?) _Well, you do. _(That's better)._

_(Won Won runs in out of nowhere and pushes Harry aside) _

Won Won: Don't be hitting on my Herhiney man! _(Puts arm around Herhiney) _I thought you liked that Cho girl! _(just so you know the time of this movie is sort of nonexistent as Harry likes Cho, Ron likes Lavender and Hermione, and Ginny is not in it at all…There will also be a few surprising crushes that come up that were never there in the books, but as the only characters are Harry, Ron, Hermione, Lavender, and Cho, and the characters drink beer and stuff, I really wouldn't try to match anything that goes on to any of the books at all____) _

Harry Pooter: Yeah, Cho-Chang, no Cho-Pang! Cho-Pang _(we stop using the name cho-pang in a little while, so she is just cho or cho-chang)_

_(Won, arm still around Herhiney, is walking with her to the door) _

Harry Pooter: Hey Hey! What you doing! What you doing! _(Harry is sort of dancing around them hitting Herhiney's boobs with his bottle)_

Herhiney: Stop! _(Harry doesn't stop, but she doesn't seem to notice) _I thought you still liked Lav Lav! _(She is talking to Won Won obviously) _

Won Won: I don't like no Lav Lav, she's kinda getting on my nerves…you know I have always liked you. _(Ok my favorite thing happens in the movie here: when Won Won says "I have always liked you" he pushes up Herhiney's boob with his bottle! It's hilarious!" _

Herhiney: _(to Harry who is STILL hitting her) _Stay away from my Boyfriend yo! _(She hits his bottle away with her bottle using it like a sword) _

_(Won and Herhiney are walking out the door and Harry raises his bottle yet again, jabbing it in the air)_

Harry Pooter: I'LL FIGHT! I'LL FIGHT TOOO CORONA!!!!!!! _(This is very crucial to the story that you know that Corona is a type of beer, you shall see next chapter why we chose Corona, for that reason is why we made the movie in the first place!)_

**Screen fades to black as Won and Herhiney leave. **

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End Notes: so…what did you think? I know its crazy but HEY I bet you laughed at least once! …even if you were laughing AT me…oh well the next PART will be coming soon-ish for those crazy enough to keep reading!

-way to HP obsesed!


	2. Part 2: Drinking Songs and Twitchin'

Disclaimer: Hello people of the internet world, I am giving this announcement to clarify that I own exactly -8% of the Harry Potter world.

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Harry Pooter 

Part: 2

"Drinking Songs and Twitchin"

**Herhiney has just left and Won Won and Harry are still in the same room. They are both still holding their bottles of 'Corona'. **

Harry Pooter: So, Herhiney left, left, but we're still together! _(Puts arm around Won Won, who in turn, also puts arm around Harry) _We're still together!

Won Won: _(Raises bottle) _To Herhiney…uh cause of her bladder problem…

Harry Pooter: Bladder…_ (Seams to think about it) _YEAH! To Herhiney! _(Also raises bottle)_

Won Won: Yeah…

Harry Pooter: 1-2-3!

_(Harry and Won start to sway together, arms around each other, with bottles raised and sings the following)_

Both Sing: I'm drinking beer, your drinking beer, CORONA! _(Raises bottles) _CORONA! (_Raises bottles) _I'm drinking beer, your drinking beer, CORONA! _(Raises bottles) _CORONA! (_Raises bottles) _

Harry Pooter: MWAA! _('Kisses' Won Won.)_

_(I would just like to say here that we are not trying to portray Harry or Won as being gay or anything, that was an accident and a total part of randomness that happened in the movie…I was seriously debating weather or not to even put that in, but I am trying not to edit too much out of the movie…so don't think about that much, it is just a TINY part in the story) _

Harry Pooter: OH! NO! _(Pushes Won away) _Whoopsie!

Won Won: _(stumbles backward clutching his 'do-rag') _you're Pullin' off my do-rag man!

Harry Pooter: Sawy…I accidently kissed a boy…_ (Blows on top of bottle)_

Won Won: _(from off-screen—he's fixing his 'do-rag') _you didn't actually touch me…my, my beer was in my mouth…

Harry Pooter: Well…I'm sad that Herhiney left—

_(Won Won comes on screen—do-rag fixed— and takes Harry's bottle out of his hand, drinks some of his own bottle, then drinks some of Harry's— I love that part in the movie)_

Harry Pooter: S'cuse me!

Won Won: _(walking off screen again) _OH! I get double this stuff! …Now, now I gotta take a dump…

Harry Pooter: NO! WAIT! We have to do our little hand thingy-thing-a-ma-babba. _(While he says this he is holding out his hands, shaking them) _Ready?

Won Won: Hold on…I'm comin…

Harry Pooter: _(his hands and head are shaking like mad) _I'm, I'm twitchin'! I'm twitchin'!

Won Won: _(walking back on screen) _I think I'm gunna be leavin' in a second…

_(Won and Harry hold out hands near each other)_

Harry Pooter: Okay, one, two…ready… Duh _(hits hands sideways once) _Duh _(hits hands again---come on! You know what I mean, like when you go to do a secret hand shake with someone) _Wooo _(does little like wiggle-finger-thing together-thing…) _OWA! _(Both 'boys' throw their hands up at the same time and shout OWA!) _

_(I would show yall what the amazing Pooter Club handshake looks like, but this isn't T.V. folks, use your imaginations!) _

Harry Pooter: OOO! (_Licks finger and touches it to his side and makes sizzling sound) _I still HAWT! WHOO!

Won Won: (_licks finger and touches it to his side and makes sizzling sound) _SIIII!

Harry Pooter: (_licks finger and touches it to his side and makes sizzling sound AGAIN!) _I say: SIII. WHO! I'm burnin'!

Won Won: To each other? To each other?

_(Won and Harry turn back-to-back and do sizzle thing to each others sides…yeah I know…odd…but HEY! This IS the POOTER club…)_

Harry Pooter: OO! I still think I'm—you're burnin'! _(Pulls up knee-pads, which were falling down) _

Won Won: _(from off screen, yeah he keeps leaving) _Yeah, I know. _(Comes back on screen with 'another' two bottles-if you hadn't caught that we are actually using the SAME three bottles just over and over-and hands one to Harry) _Come on! I got two more!

Harry Pooter: YAY! Another one! _(Harry puts bottle in the purple belt that he is wearing; it stays there because it is resting on his fat…) _

_(Won leaves)_

…_**Little while later…**_

Harry Pooter: So uh hey—

Won Won: Sorry, I had to take a dump

_(Won comes back, wearing a white bonnet on his head)_

Won Won: So I put on my new do-rag _(the green cloth kept falling off…) _Lavender just sent it to me _(I guess Won was going out with Lavender at this time…)_

Harry Pooter: I love it, it's all white…shows your color…_ (?)_

Won Won: I'm just sad that Herhiney never got to see it.

Harry Pooter: HEY! I see your…_ (Jesters to Won Won's earring) _is that a skull? _(Actually it's a flower…but we decided to pretend that it was a skull! More manly, you know) _

Won Won: Yeah! Lav Lav—er—Lavender Boob_ (wonder what she looks like)_ gave it to me.

Harry Pooter: Oh, I thought it was your grandma…

Won Won: No, my grandma let me get my ear pierced. At first I had one like that _(points to star sticker on Harry's forehead) _I had—

Harry Pooter: Oh a fake one? A one like this?

Won Won: No I had-a, a one that had a star on it. _(pats Harry on shoulder)_

Harry Pooter: Yeah, that's for me…

_(Won Won slaps Harry on the back)_

Harry Pooter: UGH-HUH! _(Harry bends forward, clutching at his stomach-from being hit on the back- but his reaction is REALLY late) _*coughs* Ugh! Don't be too hard on me.

Harry Pooter: Anyway—

_(Won Won burps, then giggles)_

Harry Pooter: ANYWAY! I know that—

Won Won: I think it was the beer…

Harry Pooter: You know what? _(Pats Won on the shoulder) _I think I'm gunna call you Gangsta now- yeah I'm gunna call you Gangsta now…_ (Pulls his shorts up) _Ok so…

_(off to the side, while Harry is talking, Won is trying to put his beer in his pocket, but the pants are SO tight that it wont go in…) _

Harry Pooter: I, I—

_(Won gives up, does a very Gangsta-like shrug thing and just holds his bottle)_

Harry Pooter: I'm really sad that- that- this is gunna be in my blob _(think he meant to say BLOG) _I'm really sad that Her-Herhiney left this party, on…on an early account…_(you can tell by the shape of his mouth that he is about to cry, cuz remember he is wearing cheetah-print sunglasses, instead of glasses) _*sniff* *rubs eyes with hand* It's just not the same without her!

Won Won: Yeah, I wish we had another guest yo!

Harry Pooter: I know! I want another guest! _(Leans head back-and to the side to howl) _I WANT ANOTHER GE-EST!! _(His voice sort of cracks on the last word) _*sniffs*

_(this is sort of a funny thing to look at here- Won Won is leaning to the side, not smiling, trying to look gangsta while wearing a too-big sweater and a while bonnet, and Harry is sniffling clutching his bottle, which is still in his belt, resting on his fat stomach)_

***about 30 seconds later***

Won Won: Know what? I wish Lav Lav was here…

Harry Pooter: Yeah I wish Lav Lav was—

Won Won: or, or Herhiney…

Harry Pooter: No, no, I wish Cho-Chang was here! CHO-CHANG! (_Every time Harry says cho-chang, keep this in mind for later, he like bends down a little and then belts her name out, while doing a motion sort of like a hoe-down…yeah odd) _CHO-CHANG!

Won Won: CHOO-CHOO! _(Makes choo-choo motion like pulling arm up and down, like a train conductor…HAHA this part cracks me up, and from now on Won Won always calls Cho CHOO-CHOO) _

Harry Pooter: She thinks I look good without these glasses _(pulls glasses off) _But I can't see right… _(Stumbles off screen)_

_(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!)_

_(In the background we here Harry run in to something)_

Won Won: Hey look! _(Goes over to door) _Someone's at the door!

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End Notes: Dun-Dun-Dun little cliffy there eh? well...i reached 6 typed pages, so thats enough for me for this chapter... i wonder who's at the door? well since i said that only ron, harry, cho, hermione, and lav lav were in this story the only possiblities are one of those 3 girls...UNLESS I LIED! MWA-HA-HA!!!

Oh! and i would just like to say that if any of you wonderful readers have been reading Too Good To Be Fake PLEASE PLEASE go to my bio and vote in the poll. i cant decied who i want George to like... or PM me if u have any ideas for any of my stories!

-way 2 HP obsesed!


	3. Part 3: Tangoing and Misunderstandings

Authors Notes: I am terribly sorry that I have not been updating in any kind of reasonable time- BUT I AM NOW! so, yeah read and review PLEASE! because this is the BIGGEST pain to keep writing: watching it, stopping it, typing it, checking it.... you get the point. So review or else there is not much point in me straining myself :P

Disclaimer: No matter how much you, me, and Harry Pooter want, I am NOT the creater of Harry Potter or any speck of it.

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Harry Pooter

Part: 3

"Tangoing and Misunderstandings"

**Recap from last chapter: **

_Harry Pooter: She thinks I look good without these glasses (pulls glasses off) But I can't see right… (Stumbles off screen)_

_(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!)_

_(In the background we here Harry run in to something)_

_Won Won: Hey look! (Goes over to door) Someone's at the door!_

**A girl enters the room. She has a green t-shirt on, tied back like a belly shirt. She is wearing a long black skirt and her hair is in a bun with one piece hanging down. She has a cheetah print scarf around her neck. She ALSO has HUGE boobs. Hint hint. Like Herhiney. This is Lavender Boob. **

Lavender: WON WON! (throws self into Wons arms)

Won Won Peasley: LAV LAV! My lavender Boob shes right here! (Won closes the door and Lav Lav walks over to Harry.

Harry Pooter: Lavender? Well, you sure have grown, in some places I'm not gunna say: BUT ITS YOU BOOBS!

Lavender: Yeah, you know I heard Cho Chang was out in the hallway.

(Won walks over to Lav Lav and wraps his arms around her.)

Harry: AHH! Cho Chang! Cho Chang! *sniff sniff* (Runs over to door- opens it and holds arms out) COME HERE MAMA! (runs out door and closes it behind himself.)

Won Won: It's CHOO Chang! CHOO CHOO (makes train conductor motion with arm)

(Won walks over to get some beer, and mutters to himself- _I can't quite hear what he said exactly- _and Lavender struts about the room)

Lavender: SO! How yall doinz lately Ron Ron? (won walks over and lays a beer on top of Lav's 'cleavage' with a beer for himself) How you been doin?

Won Won: I've been doing fine, look I'm wearing my new do-rag and my new earring.

(won walks away to look in the mirror)

Lavender: (sounding unimpressed) ahh...sweet... that's it?

Won: Got these new gangsta pants.... course I have to wear my moms sweata. (--- British accent).

Lavender: I know what time it is! It's time ta... TANGO! (throws scarf off and unties hair)

(In hallway you hear *someone, who sounds suspicously like Harry Pooter humming a 'tango' tune....Du Du Du DaDu Du Du Da DuDu Du ARIBA!)

(While the music is going on Won and Lav Lav start tango-ing, Won with a blue fuzzy pen in his mouth like a flower)

(Da Da Da, Da Da Da Da, ah Yeah e Yeah La Da Da Da Da)

(right here another favorite part of mine happens when they are tango-ing the pen falls out of wons mouth and onto Lavs...protruding chest. So he picks it up with his mouth HAHAH)

(ARIBAAA!)

Lav Lav: (steps back) Watch my new move yo! (does arms out, chest pump shake thing)

(Lo La, La La La La, Lo La Lo Lo)

Won: CATCH! (he trows blue pen at Lavender who catches it and sort of poses with it, twirling between her fingers)

(Reba Lo Lo Lo ARIBA! Ya Da Da DaDa Ya Da Da DaDa)

Lavender: WHOS THAT! (trows pen on ground and Won tries to hold her back while shes tries to open the door)

(Re Da Da DaDa, Re Da Da DaDa, Re Da Da DaDA!--)

(Lav Lav opens door and music 'magically' stops at that exact moment)

Won Won: (walks out side) Cho Chang, my doll (comes back in leading a girl, with his arm around her)

**-Now lets just stop here for a moment so I can explain what this girl looks like-**

**She is wearing a pink cami and pink skirt, flip flops, and huge sunglasses. Her hair is in a side ponytail....not that it matters... She is played by the same girl who played Harry Pooter (I wouldn't be telling you this-but its key for later.) She is Cho Chang**

Cho: OOOO! Where's, where's um...where's, Where's Harry Potter?

(Lav Lav in the background gathers her scarf from the ground.)

Won: You uh, you mean Harry Pooter....no, uh he's not here right now

Cho: (pulls away from Won) NO! It's Harry Potter! Look! I need ta find him, I really, uh need to talk to him (she looks sad)

Won: Well...

Cho: I need to talk to him really badly-

Won: Why?

Cho: I need to know where he is-

Won: Come on- (leads her over to bench by window- to the right of the screen)

Cho: -cause I care about him

Won: Come here, sit down

Cho: I need to find him. (starts to cry)

Won: Um, Lav Lav, go to the bathroom--

Cho: UH! UHHH! CEDRIC! (cries really loudly) My dear Cedric! (grabs stuffed duck from bench and holds it in front of her face to cry on)

(Ron as sat down next to her and has his arm around her trying to comfort her)

Cho: Cedric! Oo oo, and Harry knows! Harry saw him die and I need to talk to Harry cause I need to- HE KNOWS! How- (touches sunglasses as if she is about to take them off, but doesn't.) He knows about- Cedric!

Won: (pulls Cho by close to him and she cries into 'his' shoulder- he pats her back) Now, now it's all right Cho-Cho.

Cho: I need Harry!

Lav Lav: (from off screen,) Yo Ron Ron! I'll be leaving you!

Won: Harry, he likes you!

(camera pans over to Lav and she stomps over to Won and Cho with her hands on her hips)

Lav Lav: Now that you're with another WOMAN! (very snooty like on the word WOMAN!) Hummp!

(she stops over to the door to leave- goes out of it)

Won: Lav Lav-- I'm talking to Cho Chang at the present-

Cho: (gets up) NO WAIT! NO WAIT! Wait...

(Cho pulls open door where Lav is standing just outside.)

Cho: Wait, come here- uhh

(Lav Lav stomps back in but wont look at anyone)

Cho: I didn't mean to like split you guys up and stuff...

(Lav Lav spins to face Cho)

Cho: I miss Cedric! OH LORD! (falls to knees) I miss Cedric!

(**Ha Ha here's a funny part- So you see Cho on the ground bending over on her knees with her head almost on the floor, Lav Lav standing-hands on hips- over her- and Won is off screen, actually he is on the bed- where camera person is- and now whispers to the camera "There's really three of them!" I guess 'he' was referring to the fact that there are only 3 actresses in this play, but so far 5 cameras- just to clear that up)**

(Lav Lav taps Cho's back with her foot and Cho takes her head off the ground- Won walks back into screen)

Cho: I MISS CEDRIC!

Won: It's alright Cho (walks over to her)

Cho: I want Cedric back, and Harry's the one, Harry only knows- (Ignores Won's helping hand, but stands up and walks towards bed) Harry's the only person that knows about him. (turns away and walks over to closet doors, her back now to the camera) That's so, that's (slams herself against the closet doors) **CEDRIC!!!!! **

Won: Cho (pats her arm and she looks away from the closet) Cho Pang-- Cho Chang-

Lav Lav: (who up until this point has been pretty much ignoring Cho) YOU NEED TO LISTEN UP! Listen lady!!!

(rofl here Won puts his hands on either side of Lav, on the sides of her boobs and guides her away from Cho- to whom Lav had been yelling at)

Lav Lav: HELP ME!

Won: (holds up imaginary money) Look! I got you- this is for you to buy some new shoes... (guides Lav to the door)

Lav Lav: SHOPPING YAY! (pulls door open and stomps out again.)

Won: Oh, okay- (turns to Cho) Cho Chang-

Cho: What!

Won: Let me talk to you about something (he guides her over to the middle of the room) I'll go pull you up a chair. (goes off screen)

Cho: Okay... (looks sad)

(Won walks back in with a tiny red rocking chair that has a purple pillow on it)

Cho: Pretty chair... oo! It's purple, pretty!

Won: Yes, well (walks off screen again and comes back with a blue pillow that he throws on the ground for himself to sit on- he sits down) Now! Okay! Harry told me, that he's a got to talk to you about this (**Wowee on that line I really had to guess what Won said, she did such a good British accent that I couldn't understand what she said!) **Because HE, got a crush, on you! (Points to Cho to make sure she got the point- then sort of waves his arm around a little and taps her arm) And he's drunk.

Cho: AHH! (--huge intake of breath) NO! It's not! (spreads arms wide in confusion) What? Off Butterbeer? Or, Coffee!** (Ah Cho, sadly no) **oor... not surely..

Won: CORONA! (waves finger around)

Cho: NO NO NO! And, what?! You too!

(shaky cam moment)

Won: No!

(Cho slaps her heart in relief)

Won: ...actually I just had some. But I'm not drunk. (**If you haven't understood by now, WON IS DRUNK!) **Only he is-

Cho: FFEEEW!

Won: -he had it in his pants... **(remember when we first met Harry and his bottle was in his belt loop) **anyways, no he didn't wet it- (smiles at camera) but, ANYWAYS! (waves hand around like a drunk man while he talks---sort of like Jack Sparrow) What I'm gunna tell you, is for your ears only, don't tell Harry I told you or he'd beat the bloody hell out of me! So, then, what he said, is that he didn't

want to talk to you about it, he thought you were going to come after him to ask him, but he doesn't want you to, because YOU (points to Cho) Are his crush! (took him a long time to get 'are his crush' out) See, he loves you..

Cho: Aw! He in love with me! *sigh

Won: Actually he asked you to the ball. And-and- yeah that's my story-- but I think it might be a little hard--

(Cho puts her hand on his shoulder and cuts him off)

Cho: No, no, no. I know, I know what you're trying to say- what you're trying to come through- Look, I , I- you know I've talked to boys so many times. You know, It's okay, you know.

(Won tries to say something like "Well, what happened was Voldemort" , but Cho keeps talking over him)

Cho: I have feeling for you too! (grabs Won) Yes I do- STAND UP! (pulls him up) Stand up! Come here, come here! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YAAA---(hugs him and 'kisses him' but their hands are both cupped around their mouths so you know they are not)

(Cho pushes Won away and he stumbles back toward the bench)

Cho: BYE! I'll talk to you later! (Runs back to him) ONE MORE! (they 'kiss' again) MWA! (pushes Won back again) Oooo! I (camera zooms in on Cho as she opens the door) Never mind about Harry-Pooter-Potter- Whatever- but my Won Won (sidesteps back to him) Miiii Won Won! (says that last bit kinda suggestively) UH! (skips back to door) See ya later!

Won: (looking at camera) That's three in one night! Score! (he punches sky- and is talking about Herhiney, Lav, and Cho btw)

Cho: (the door is almost closed by her head is poking through the gap) And tell Lavender Boob-or Brown- that-he- she's messing with the wrong guy! _She_ can be with Harry Pooter-or whatever, but NO! (zooms in on her face and she says this next bit slowly and clearly) You're my Won Won! AH! BYYYYE!!

Won: Where's Herhiney? She never did meet Cho Chang but-

(Cho is still head-in-door making kissy noises so Won walks over to her)

Won: Bye! (kisses his fingers and waves at her)

(Cho continues to not go away- and makes more kissy faces so Won walks over and kisses her good bye- **one of my favorite 'fake' kisses from this play- it looks really real, because Won's head and Cho's line up where you can't see any of their faces so it looks like they really are kissing, but they are really about a foot apart.**)

Cho: OH! *squeal (she leaves and Won shuts the door behind her)

Won: mmm... you know, that was really not what I meant... but that's okay...

**FADES OUT  
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End Notes: Well! haha there's two new characters for you! I love how emotional Cho is- hahaha and how oblivious Ron is! He just sort of rolls with what happens. Haha sorry if some things dont make sense, I'm just typing what I hear! Haha. OKAY! PLEEEASE REVIEW! and check my profile for polls and updates!


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